Heaven On Earth Ch. 08. A questioning of love.
Chapter 8: Potty Mouth
Erica pushed her way into Brian's apartment. Brian and I stood back in amazement.
"What do you mean we're still in danger?" I asked.
"Stop and think for a moment. Evan, you are religious about turning your alarm on. Was that night any different?"
"Of course not. I always turn it on, no matter what."
Then Erica said just what I was thinking. "So why didn't it go off when Laura broke in?"
"Shit," muttered Brian.
The way that my alarm worked was that it would go off silently for ten seconds after the door is opened. That gives me time to disarm the alarm before the noise comes on, and it's more startling for intruders to hear it after they've already come in. "Dammit, I was so stressed and worried that I didn't even think about that."
"Who knows the code?" asked Erica.
"Only my mother, my uncle, Jane, and me. I haven't even remembered to tell Brian."
"Well, I think we all know how Laura got the code to the alarm," Brian said.
"It doesn't make sense. Why would Jane tell Laura the code? There would be no reason for her to know it."
"Unless Jane knew what Laura was going to do," Erica said in a matter-of-fact tone. That made all of the color drain from my face. Erica didn't look too good either. She was swaying a little as she spoke. Brian walked over and helped her steady herself.
"Erica, are you alright?" he asked.
"I'm fine, I just have a little fever, so I stayed home from work."
"No offense, but you look terrible. Let me get you some water."
"Fuck the water. Can we focus on what's important here? Jane must have been involved in this whole thing! She's probably still after you!"
"Erica, we can't jump to conclusions on this. We don't know the whole story," I said. "That's not something Jane would do."
"As far as I'm concerned, she's the same as her twin, same genes and everything!" "Come on, Erica, let's sit down. You're bordering on delirious." Brian took her over to the kitchen table and sat her down. I fixed a glass of ice water and handed it to her.
"I'm not that sick," she insisted after taking a long drink. "This is really serious. Laura may be locked up, but Jane could still get into your apartment."
"No, she can't. The police confiscated the key that Laura used," Brian said.
"Don't be silly. Who's to say that she didn't make copies?"
Neither of us responded. We both knew it was true. And even though I didn't think that Jane was capable of such cruelty, the circumstances intensified my doubt.
"You should probably get the locks changed, just as a precaution," Brian suggested.
I nodded in agreement. Brian massaged my shoulders, trying to soothe and calm me. I didn't respond to his touch. What Erica had said shook me to the core. Could Jane be partially responsible for what Laura did? I was beginning to feel ill. If Jane was in on Laura's plan, we were in serious danger. I excused myself and went into the bathroom where I promptly threw up.
Brian heard me and knocked on the door. He came in and knelt down beside me. I slowly turned towards him.
"I love you," he said. "I'm not going to let anything happen to you." My life was in danger. Laura wasn't interested in killing me, but she said that she would kill Brian. Brian was quickly becoming my life. I couldn't let anyone take him away from me. I wiped my mouth with toilet paper and wordlessly rose to my feet. Brian stood up as well, and I looked up into his blue eyes. God, I loved those eyes. He kissed my scar and put his arms around me. "I love you, too." There was nothing else I could say. I refused to let anyone take him away from me, but how on Earth was I supposed to prevent that from happening? He seemed to know what I was thinking and squeezed me tighter.
"Too many of our close moments happen in the bathroom," I said.
Brian laughed. "Maybe we should try out the public bathrooms. I'd say we've finished with Private Bathroom Loving 101."
I grinned, but at the same time, I realized that my breath was bad enough to make anyone want to kill me. "Do you have an extra toothbrush? Throwing up is never a good smell."
"Sure do." He fished one out of the bathroom drawer and handed it to me. As he turned to leave, I quickly pinched his ass. He gave me a surprised and devilish look, but I innocently turned back to brushing my teeth.
As I went back into the living room, Brian was covering Erica with a blanket as she tried to sleep stretched out on the couch. I walked up behind him and slipped both of my arms around his waist. I leaned in and scraped my teeth on the side of his neck. The soft moan that was my reward only encouraged me further. I untucked his shirt and moved my hands up his chest. Brian swatted my arms and pulled free from my hold. He turned around and put one finger to his lips, motioning for us to be quiet while Erica was resting. He took my hand and led me towards the bedroom. Once we had shut the door, I seized his mouth with mine, craving the true intimacy with Brian instead of the "tough love" from Laura. Something told me that Brian felt the same way. He growled as I alternated between kissing him and unbuttoning his shirt.
This was, of course, the perfect time for someone to knock on the door.
"Forget about it," I said in a harsh whisper. I moved down and started licking his left nipple.
"No, oh shit, that's great. No, wait. I can't." His breathing rate increased. "No one ever comes by here, I have to see who it is."
Brian tore himself away from me and went to answer the door with his open shirt and somewhat bulging pants. I collapsed back on the bed with a frustrated groan. Perhaps I was trying too hard to compensate for the pain I was feeling, but I couldn't see that at the time. My only concern was being happy. Being happy with Brian.
I lifted myself off the bed after a few minutes and went to see what was keeping Brian. He was standing by the door, but he was talking to a small, blond haired man who looked like he had the beginnings of tears in his eyes. The look on Brian's face was stony and almost angry. When he saw me, his face lightened a little but not enough to convince me that everything was alright.
After putting his thoughts together, Brian made the introduction. "This is my boyfriend, Evan Alexander. He's starting medical school at Columbia next month. Evan, this is Noah Meyers."
Shit.
***
Now I knew how Brian felt when we sat around with Jane. No, scratch that, I knew how Brian felt, only ten times worse. Brian had said earlier that he hadn't dealt with Noah since his drug addiction, and Erica made no secret of her dislike for him. It was agonizingly awkward to say the very least. What was worse was the seating arrangement. Erica sat up and moved to one side of the couch. I sat down on the opposite end, so there was room between us for Brian to sit down after he got everyone something to drink. From that first encounter, I knew I was going to have to keep my eye on Noah. He was a sneaky one. Rather than try to sit with Brian, he sat in the empty spot, effectively keeping me away from Brian but subtly laying his claim to his ex-boyfriend. Some would say that I was being paranoid, but one look at the way Noah acted around Brian clearly explained that he felt like the relationship ended too abruptly.
There were other things, too. Other things that just IRRITATED me. Noah talked a lot about being in rehab and re-assimilating himself into regular society, but the tone that he used was driving me mad. It was as if he was trying to show off or prove something to Brian, to prove that he had changed. At first, Brian seemed cold and cautious towards Noah, but as time went on, I could tell that he was warming up to him. He talked about all the success he had achieved in working his way back from being a poor drug user to working substitute teaching jobs around Queens. But it was also in the way that he turned his body towards Brian or laughed at his jokes or went for the prolonged skin to skin contact when he handed Brian his glass for a refill. After he hugged Brian and left, I felt so relieved that he was gone. Erica whispered in my ear as Noah and Brian went to the door.
"Don't worry, you have nothin' to be jealous of."
I nodded, but it was hard to stand for that. Nobody wants an ex to try to take back his old boyfriend when that boyfriend is now yours. Brian closed the door and turned around with an exhausted look on his face.
"Wow. That was completely unexpected."
Erica snorted. "Tell me about it."
"He's really different. I'm really surprised at how much better he's gotten."
Erica stood up and started for the bathroom. Before she went in, she whirled around on one foot and said, "Bri, never forget that the more things change, the more they stay the same."
Leave it to Erica not to hold back anything. I rose from the couch and went over to Brian. He put his arms around me and rested his forehead against mine. "That was... interesting," he said after a minute or so.
"Yea, try uncomfortable."
"Why was that uncomfortable?"
"Having your ex-boyfriend and ex-drug user sit down and have casual conversation with us as though nothing had happened since the two of you broke up? I'd call that uncomfortable."
He pulled his head back and glared at me. "No more uncomfortable than when Jane would hang around us."
"That's a completely different situation."
He let his arms fall, and then he put them on his hips and cocked his head at me. "Why is this different? Because Noah used to use drugs?"
"That's one reason," I said. "There are other reasons such as the fact that Jane and I never had a relationship like you two did, or the fact that I have no interest in women whereas you still are interested in guys, or—"
He cut me off. "Are you saying that you think I want to get back with Noah?"
"I don't know what you feel, Brian, but I think it's pretty obvious that he wants you back."
"What do you mean you don't know how I feel? I say I love you and I mean it."
"I know you do," I could tell he was starting to get really upset.
"Then what the fuck are you questioning me for!?"
"Brian, I'm not questioning you; I just don't trust his intentions."
"It doesn't matter what he wants. Don't you trust me enough to not let shit like that bother you?"
"You know I do."
"Well, if this is the kind of suspicion and jealousy that's going to come up whenever another guy shows interest in me, then I want you to leave." He opened the door and stood next to it.
"What? Brian, don't you think you're taking this a little far?"
"Get out," he said. I had never heard him sound so cold.
I stayed where I was, not so much in defiance of what he wanted, but I was absolutely stunned. This was the last thing I expected to happen, and I didn't understand why Brian was being so rash and angry.
"GET THE FUCK OUT!" he screamed.
I hid my face from him as I walked out, and I choked back tears when he slammed the door on my back. What the hell was going on. I did not understand why Brian was reacting like that. Our relationship was strong, but it was new. I hoped that this wouldn't break us down.
I went up to my apartment. It had been a while since I had worked out, and quite frankly, I needed that something to make me feel good. I started on the treadmill. Although I had planned to do a light workout of 3 miles, I was out of shape and exhausted after finishing two. I was a long distance track runner, I should have been able to handle more. I toweled off and started to go for my second shower of the day, but there was a knock at the door. Instantly thinking, "Brian!," I practically ran to the door and opened it. It was Erica, not Brian.
"Hey," she said.
"Hey, come on in." She followed me inside. I grabbed some Gatorade from the refrigerator and gulped about half of it down. "I'm guessing you heard everything that Brian and I said."
"Yup, I heard most of it. For what it's worth, you were acting pretty suspicious and I think Brian was justified in feeling a little upset, but he overreacted. There was no reason for him to treat you that way. I tore him a new asshole after you left."
"What did he say?"
"Nothing really. He just looked at me for a minute or so and then went to the phone and started calling someone named Kennedy."
I sighed deeply. "Well, it's not as if I can do anything now. He kicked me out, so it's really up to him to make the first move."
"Y'all just hit a bump in the road. It's no big deal. You'll see."
"Thanks, Erica," I said without much emotion. "I suppose the first time you see someone get really angry is shocking."
She nodded. "Yea, Brian usually keeps his cool. Noah is just a soft spot for him. He would defend anything that Noah did."
"What do you mean?"
"Well, he didn't really want to let Noah go, but he felt like he had to. Dealing with an addict was simply not what he wanted to do. And to be completely honest, I think that in the back of his mind, I think he always regretted doing it until he met you."
I swallowed the other half of the Gatorade. "That's kind of cold comfort now. But thanks."
"This isn't over, Evan." She stopped for a minute. "Oh shit, with everything that happened today, I forgot to tell you and Brian about my art show this Sunday. Another artist pulled out of the show and a friend of mine got a spot for three of my paintings!"
"That's great, Erica. What time does it start?"
"2pm sharp. It's semi-formal."
"Where is it?"
"It's about seven blocks over at this gallery. How about you come with me and we can get lunch or somethin' before."
"That works for me."
"Great. I need to go rest up so that I can actually enjoy it. I'll see ya later."
"Bye."
Something in me hoped that Brian would be at the door when Erica left or that he would knock the instant I locked it, but he didn't. I showered and settled down on the couch with the remote control and a beer. Dammit, why hadn't Brian called or anything? I ordered out for a pizza, which was rather counter productive to my afternoon workout, but it made me feel better. I had gone through four beers by the time the pizza boy got there. I had lost a lot of my shame by that point and I almost hit on him, but I managed to restrain myself. I polished off half of the pizza and the other two beers. Due to my low tolerance, I was absolutely trashed. Sleep almost claimed me as I slouched on the couch, but the knocking on the door brought me back to a full state of alertness. Well, as alert as one could be while drunk. Brian was on the other side of the door.
"Hey," he said, standing there rather sheepishly.
I giggled at him, but I had to brace myself on the wall.
"Shit, you're drunk," he said. He turned around and started to leave.
"Wait, heh heh, Brian where are you going?" I followed him out into the hall.
"Evan, I came up here to apologize to you, but I'm not going to do that if you're barely aware of what I'm saying to you."
"I was feeling down so I had a few beers. What's the big deal?"
"The big deal is that I can't put up with you if you run off and get drunk every time we have an argument. You criticize Noah for using drugs, but you're not much better when you drink yourself silly like this!" He mashed the elevator button and left, leaving me watching as the doors closed. "FUCK!" I screamed. I went back into my apartment and slammed the door.
I stayed in the apartment for the majority of the next day. Brian didn't call, and I didn't either. I had called a locksmith to come and change the lock on the door. They said they could come and do it on Monday morning. I pulled out the pamphlet that came with the alarm system and changed the code to 062003, the day I met Brian. I still wasn't sure if Jane was involved with Laura's plan or not, and I was too afraid to find out. Laura was in jail, awaiting her trial, and that's what was important.
There's not much to do while you're alone when you've been spending every moment possible with your boyfriend. Still, I pretended as though it was a day when Brian had class. Usually, I was able to see him by the evening, but I was depressingly lonely by midnight or so. I decided that a change of scenery was what I needed, even though I knew there was something I needed more than that. I dressed myself up in a pair of leather pants that I bought on a whim and a black top with a white button down shirt to go over it. I was going to check out a club or two. Once outside, I waved down a taxi and headed for Times Square. We stopped at a light, and I happened to look over at a pizzeria. Coincidences are terrible. I absolutely despise coincidences. Brian and Noah were coming out of the doors. Noah was wolfing down a piece of pizza, and Brian had his arm around his shoulder. The light changed and we drove ahead. I didn't want to see anymore anyway. The cab dropped me off at a club called Show, but I didn't want to go in. I stood in line for a few minutes but quickly lost interest. I walked around for a little while, caught another cab, and went home. I was broken when I got home. I went straight to the guest bedroom and fell into a fitful sleep.
The art show was particularly interesting. There was some artwork from some veterans, whose names I don't know anyway, and there was also a lot of new stuff from budding artists like Erica. We chatted in a corner, sipping on wine and watching people's reactions to her artwork. The friend that set her up for the show, who Erica introduced to me as Samantha, pulled her aside for a moment. I continued around the gallery and looked at other artists' work. I thought about buying a couple of pieces, but most of them were far beyond my price range. Even with Uncle James paying for the apartment, I only had so much of a savings account to use for my other purchases while I wasn't working. Erica came back over to me and practically started bouncing up and down.
"Someone just bought one of my paintings for $650!" she exclaimed.
"Erica, that's fantastic! Which painting?"
"Emotions!"
"Emotions" was my favorite painting that she had at the show. It was a dark-haired woman standing in a forest clearing and smelling a flower. I felt as though it expressed a lot about solitude and understanding the importance and pain of being alone. We walked over to it as I kept congratulating her. Then I looked over and noticed Brian and Noah in another part of the gallery. At that moment, Noah happened to catch my eye and he smiled at me. I hesitantly waved at him. His smile broadened and he turned back to Brian and looped his arm through Brian's. Brian didn't do anything to stop him or pull away. What was this!? Some sort of soap opera? Erica saw it, too. She said that she was going to go tell Brian about her sale. I excused myself to go to the restroom. I didn't actually have to go, but it seemed like the best place to go and sulk. I went into one of the stalls and sat there with my head in my hands. I heard someone come in and what was unmistakably Brian's cough. I pulled my feet up and crouched on the toilet seat. The last thing I wanted with him was some awkward confrontation. I listened as he used a urinal and washed his hands."Brian," Noah came in with that whiny whistle that he called a voice. "Where did you go? You left us so suddenly."
"Well, Erica said that Evan went to the bathroom. I came in here to find him, but no one is in here."
"Oh. Maybe he left."
"Maybe."
I heard Noah clear his throat. "Besides, why would you want to bother with him anymore? I'm back now. I know that it's sudden, but you should take me up on my offer to start over again."
"Noah, I've explained to you that I'm with Evan now, and I have no intention of changing that."
"You used to say that about me."
"Things have changed, Noah."
"They could always change back." I could hear Noah stepping towards Brian. "You have to admit, Brian, I was the best fuck you ever had."
"You're right, you were, and still are, the best fuck I've ever had." My heart sank when I heard him say that. "But I've never fucked Evan. What we have is completely different. I love him and I make love to him, and it's the same for him. It was never like that with us."
"You used to tell me that you loved me," Noah said.
"I thought I loved you, and I thought you loved me. But I understand now that it wasn't love. Love isn't supposed to cause pain like that. I would sit around waiting for you to stop abusing yourself and you would tell me to fuck off every time. I would hardly call that 'love.'"
"But I do love you, Brian. Why do you think I went into rehab and starting building my life again? I did all of this so I could come back to you, sweetheart. Can you honestly say that drunken kid means more to you than I do?"
Brian didn't hesitate for a moment. "Yes, I can, Noah. I want, no, I NEED, someone that I can love and depend on. I can't even compare how long Evan and I have been together to how long you and I have been together because he has come to mean more to me in one month than you did in a year. He makes me feel like no one else ever has, yet because of some pointless argument about you, I'm telling you all these things that I should be telling him. You shouldn't have gone through rehab for my benefit, that should have been something you did for yourself. And to think that you can come back and reclaim me like some sort of possession that you left behind is crazy. The best you can hope for is my friendship, and you're really starting to push your chances at even having that."
I was surprised that no one heard Brian from outside. Tears were rolling down my face by this point. "One day, you silly fag," he began, "you're going to realize that I'm the best thing you ever had, and you're making a huge mistake." The door swung open and closed again. I heard Brian exhale sharply and walk towards the door.
My foot had fallen asleep, so I tried to shift position on the tiny toilet seat and take the pressure off. I slipped and with a crash, I fell into a sitting position on the commode.
"Is someone in here?" Brian said.
Shit. Shit. There was no way I could get out of this. Miraculously, I didn't hurt myself when I fell. I stood up and slowly opened the door to the stall.
"Oh, my God," Brian whispered when I stepped out.
"Hi," I said so quietly that I wasn't entirely sure that I made any sound.
"You heard everything, didn't you?"
"Yes."
He walked over to where I was standing. "Baby, I'm so sorry. You had every right to be wary of Noah. I didn't think he honestly thought he had any chance of getting me back."
"No, Brian, I shouldn't have doubted you and acted like an ass on top of all that."
"You were upset. There was no reason I should have yelled at you. Noah just has a way of getting to me. No matter what he does, I have always felt bad for the way things happened between us. It won't happen again, I promise."
"Bri, you don't have to explain it to me. It's fine." I sniffed and couldn't hold back from crying my heart out. He was hugging me in an instant, and I was soaking his shirt with tears. "I'm not going to drink anymore," I mumbled into his chest.
"What?" he lifted my chin up and looked into my eyes.
"Surprising, isn't it?"
"No, I didn't hear what you said."
"I said I'm not going to drink anymore. I'd say that it's proved to be downright terrible for this relationship, so I won't do it anymore."
"Evan, you don't have to do that."
"You said I wasn't any better than Noah."
"I was angry, I didn't mean it."
"No, it's ok. You were right, but I'm not going to make the same dumb mistake that he did. I'm not going to let this drive you away from me. You're infinitely more important to me than alcohol. I love you, Brian."
Brian grabbed me and kissed me so tenderly that I almost collapsed in joy. The kiss turned more passionate as I moved my hand up to his face and he grabbed my butt. We broke apart when Brian started laughing.
"What's so funny?" I asked.
"We have definitely moved on to Public Restroom Loving 110."
I dissolved into a fit of laughter and Brian joined me. The dried tear streaks from having cried shortly before were joined by tears of laughter. Neither of us could stop laughing until some guy came in to actually use the bathroom. Brian and I walked back into the gallery, our hands around each other's waist. Erica was glowing when we found her.
"Noah stormed outta here a while ago. I figured somethin' had gone right." I looked at Brian and smiled. He smiled back, and I kissed him. Erica squealed. Brian and I exchanged a knowing look.
"Congratulations again, Erica," I said.
"But you'll have to excuse us," Brian finished.
Erica had to cover her mouth to keep herself from laughing too hard as Brian and I practically bolted out of the gallery.
I was so intensely happy when Brian finally slid into me.
***
"Your tub is so great," Brian sighed.
I was planting soft kisses up and down his collar bone and neck. "It's our tub now, you'll live here, too, as soon as we get all our stuff moved around."
Brian was laying down in the bathtub with his left arm propped on the side so that he wouldn't slip down. I was on laying on top of him, face to face, and kissing him all over as we let the water relax us. His right hand moved up and down my back and butt, caressing me as I let my weight rest entirely on him.
"I think I've found Heaven," he said.
"Why is that?"
"Because this is so perfect. I've got this comfortable bathtub, warm water, great feelings. I've got you, that's all I really want anyway."
I nuzzled his neck, losing myself in his scent. "Don't ever leave me," he said.
I think that was the first time Brian ever left himself so open to me. I had always needed him, wanted him to be the one to stay, now he was asking me not to go. "I won't," I said. "I wouldn't even dream of it."
He put both arms around me, but as he did, he lost what ability he had to stay in place. He slipped down the tub and brought me with him. Waves of water splashed all around us and over the edge of the tub.
"Brian, are you alright?"
His head didn't come out from under the water, and there were no bubbles from his nose. There was a tiny cloud of blood underneath him.
"Oh, my God, Brian!" I yanked him out from the water.
He wasn't responding.
"BRIAN!!"
He simply started laughing.
"You jerk!" I reached into the water and grabbed him playfully by the balls.
"Aw, I'm sorry, babe," he said. "Did you think I was really hurt?"
"You are really hurt, you idiot, you're bleeding."
"Am I? It hurt when I hit my head, but I didn't think it was anything serious."
"Come on, let's get this fixed."
We both got out of the water dripping wet. We didn't even bother to dry off. I got some Bactine and a warm cloth. I told Brian to lie face down on the bed.
"But I'm still wet," he protested.
"You get on that bed, or being wet will be the least of your troubles."
I straddled his back and moved his hair out of the way. Luckily, he didn't hit himself too hard. He hadn't done anything more than take some skin off the back of his head. I cleaned it first with the water, and then I applied the Bactine. He only winced a little. I didn't have anything to cover it with, but it would probably heal quickly since it wasn't that serious, just a scratch.
"All done," I said, rolling off him.
He rolled over, too, and climbed on top of me.
"Brian," I said as he smothered me in kisses.
"What?" he whined. "I was having a good time."
"We're getting the bed wet," I laughed.
Brian growled and lightly bit down on one of my nipples. I sucked in a breath of air and put my hands on his back, encouraging him to do more. His hands ran down the sides of my torso and over my hips. I shivered at his touch; it was so warm and loving. Again, I felt butterflies in my stomach when he touched me.
It was only 7 o'clock, but both of us were exhausted. Brian moved back up to kiss my lips, but our kisses grew less and less passionate. Soon we were cuddling, our arms wrapped up in each other, and we fell asleep face to face.
My eyes slowly blinked and fluttered open and all I could see was the wild blue yonder. Where was I? Oh. I was looking into Brian's eyes.
"Were you watching me sleep?" I mumbled.
"Mmm hmm." He moved forward a little and kissed me lightly. Then he moved his hand up and stroked my right cheek with two of his fingers. I moved my hand from his hip and pressed it against his fingers, holding them to my face.
"I love you," I said.
"You better," was his response. We kissed again, and I sighed deeply out of pure joy. Sometimes when I was a little kid, I wished that I could stop time and stay where I was forever. Moments like the first time you ride your bike, or the warm feeling of your bed on a rainy night, and the few moments of peace that you feel before you fall asleep. I wanted to freeze everything at that moment. I never wanted to leave Brian, I never wanted us to be apart. I felt like a better person, a more complete person, because I had him with me. My soul was blended and mixed into his, and on some levels I didn't exist as an individual anymore; I could only exist with him with me. I wasn't emotional without him, I wasn't capable of feeling love without him, to a certain degree, I wasn't alive without him. I needed him next to me as much as I needed air to breathe. What do you do when you realize that your life is only a part of the greater and more important concept of "our life," that there is no concept of your own self without someone else? And then I knew exactly what to do. I had to tell Brian. I had to marry Brian.
I broke the kiss and stared into his eyes.
"Brian, I—"
He put his finger on my lips to silence me. "I know," he said, "I feel the same way, you don't have to tell me." I kissed his finger. "Don't ask me now though," he continued. "The timing is all wrong. You'll know when the right time is, and when you do ask, I promise I'll say yes."
Brian moved his finger and kissed me. I slowly opened my eyes and blinked a few times to check that I wasn't dreaming. "How did you know what I was going to say?" I asked.
"Do you trust me?"
"Of course I do. More than anyone, more than myself."
"Then trust me when I say that I was thinking the exact same thing. The only difference is that I feel like there will be a better time to say it."
I tugged on his neck and brought his face to mine, meeting him in a kiss that could have powered the entire city of Las Vegas. I didn't stop kissing him. I didn't ever want to stop kissing him. I gathered Brian in my arms and pulled his whole body closer to mine. We were touching all over: my chest pressed to his, his leg draped over my hip, our foreheads resting together. We stayed in that position. I began humming our song. Brian titled his head and kissed me, but I kept humming. His hands explored my body, lovingly trying to hold onto all of me at once. I think my body simply decided that it was going to explode at that moment. I tried to keep humming, but it turned into a pleasurable moan, I started writhing, and a flash of warmth flowed through my veins. Brian held me through it all. Everywhere I needed to be touched, his hands were there at the exact moment I wanted him. Every time I felt like being kissed, his lips were all over mine. Before I even realized what was happening, it was all over. Brian was rocking me in his arms.
"Wow," I said.
"Wow," he whispered back.
"I don't know what on Earth that was."
"Who cares? All I know is that it was incredible."
I mumbled something along the lines of 'I love you' or some other nonsensical muttering of devotion. Brian rolled around and checked the clock on my nightstand. It was past 10 o'clock. He had class the next day, so he decided to go straight to bed. I got out of bed and turned on the alarm. That's when I remembered to tell Brian the code.
I knew he wasn't sleeping yet, but I tried to shake him awake anyway.
"Bri?"
"Yea?" he said.
"I wanted to tell you the new alarm code. Now you can start letting yourself out in the morning without me getting up to turn it off."
"Ok, what is it?"
"It's 062003, the—"
"The day I met you," he said, smiling. "At least I'll never forget that code. 'Night, babe."
"Goodnight," I said.
I went back into the kitchen and ate a few chips. For someone who didn't work and spent the days anxiously awaiting and at the same time dreading medical school, the night was young. Since we had taken that nap, I was feeling refreshed. It had been a while since I had called Maria, so I picked up the phone and did just that.
Mark picked up the phone. "Hello?"
"Hey, Mark, it's Evan. How are you doing?"
"Oh, I'm great. The better question is how are you? It's been a rough week for you."
"You would think that I would be feeling a lot worse. I truly feel absolutely wonderful."
Mark chuckled. "No doubt in large part to a tall, dark, and handsome man."
"That could be it," I said coyly.
"You probably want to talk to Maria. Hold on, let me get her."
About thirty seconds later, she picked up. "Hello?"
"Hey, sis, how are you doing?"
"I'm good. Mark and I were able to get a babysitter, so we're going out to enjoy dinner. What are you up to?"
"Nothing. I hadn't talked to you in a while. I was going to tell you about some things going on here, but if you're going to dinner, I can talk to you later."
"No, it's ok. We're waiting on the babysitter anyway."
I told her all about Noah, and she vowed to torture the little bastard. She agreed with me that Jane couldn't have been part of Laura's scheme, which was reassuring. She did say, however, that I should try to talk to Jane about it. I was still worried about the day when that confrontation would come. Maria was having a great time. Despite her talk about being a career and family woman, it was obvious that she loved being a full-time mother. She talked about watching each one of her kids growing up too quickly right before her eyes. I secretly wished that Brian and I could have kids of our own one day, whether they were adopted or not. That got me thinking of the sacrifice that I had to make because I was born gay. Chances were that I was not going to have a child, and I hated that. But I would much rather be in love and childless than bring a child into a loveless heterosexual marriage. I loved Brian, and that was enough for me. Twenty minutes later, Maria had to go; the babysitter had arrived. I hung up the phone smiling. The sound of footsteps behind me caused me to spin around with apprehension. It was only Brian. "I haven't slept in the same bed as you since Tuesday," he said in his naked glory as he padded into the living room. "Between Laura, the hospital, you sleeping in the other bedroom, and our fight, we've slept apart every night since. Do you know how horribly I've been sleeping?"
"Actually, I was thinking about sleeping in the extra bedroom again."
"You're still not comfortable in your room?"
"No, I've slept in the other bedroom for the past few nights. I thought about sleeping in there, but it was even worse without you."
"Please, can I sleep with you tonight? I don't want to be apart from you any more."
I walked over to him and kissed him deeply. "You don't have to ask me that, Bri."
"We can stay in the other room," he offered.
I took his hand and led him to the other bedroom. I hadn't bothered making up the bed, so we both got in and pulled the covers over us. He moved his back into my chest, and I draped my arm over his hip. I softly stroked his penis and kissed his neck. "Goodnight, Bri," I whispered. He was already asleep.
I woke up the next morning to a loud knocking on the door. Thinking that it would be the locksmiths, I quickly ran to the bedroom and pulled on a pair of running shorts. I shouted, "I'm coming!" as I ran down the hall. When I opened the door, Brian was grinning from ear to ear.
"You didn't have to get all dressed up just for me, babe."
I snorted. "I thought you were the locksmith. If I had known it was you, I probably wouldn't have opened the door."
"Gee, thanks," he said, slipping his arms around my waist. I put my arms around his neck. I was about to kiss him, but I remembered that I hadn't brushed my teeth.
"What's wrong?" Brian asked.
I used one hand to cover my mouth. "Morning breath."
"So what?" He moved my hand away and gave me a full-blown kiss, tongue, hands, groans, everything. He released me with a loud smack and licked his lips. "Tastes great to me."
"You're a freak," I said.
"You still love me?"
"Yup."
"Then I don't care if I'm a freak or not." He kissed me again.
"Wait a second," I said, "why are you here? What happened to your class?"
"Well, I got downstairs, showered, changed clothes, and fortunately, I decided to check my e-mail. The lecture was canceled. So I came back up here. I only left you about half an hour ago."
"Great. Can you do me a favor, then?"
"Anything, babe."
"Could you wait for the locksmith while I go shower? They said they would be here this morning between 9-10."
"I can do that," he said.
"Great. I won't be long." I went into my bathroom and started the shower. I stepped in and started soaping myself up, taking my time to enjoy the steaming hot water. The shower door opened and Brian stepped in behind me.
"The locksmith got here almost as soon as you left. I thought I would join you."
"You said you already showered."
"Two won't kill me," he said. He took the washcloth from me and continued the job that I had already started. Once he had finished washing my front, he turned me around and washed my back. He spun me around and rinsed me off. I turned around again and wiggled my butt at him, reminding him that there was still more of me to wash. Brian knelt on the floor behind me. What I expected was the washcloth on my butt cheeks, what I got was Brian gently biting and licking them instead. I moaned at the sensation and leaned forward against the shower wall. He spread my cheeks and started licking my hole. I almost lost it as I pushed myself hard against the wall. I don't know how or when it happened, but somewhere along the way, I had grown to really enjoy being the bottom. I didn't think that I would ever get into that having only had sex with women before. Even Brian was surprised. He joked about expecting to see nothing but the ceiling when it came to our sex life. These thoughts that were going through my head disappeared when he pushed his finger inside of me. One finger turned into two fingers and those turned into three and finally four fingers deep inside my hot hole.
"Brian," I gasped, "please, give it to me now."
He rose to his feet behind me and soaped up his cock. I turned around and faced him.
"I want to do it like this," I said. I clasped my hands around the back of his neck. Taking the hint, Brian put his hands on my butt and lifted me up. My legs wrapped around his waist, and I looked into Brian's eyes. He moved us forward to that I was against the wall, so that he could gain balance and leverage. His eyes never left mine as he pushed himself into me. My mouth was hanging wide open as he continued thrusting in and out of me. It was too hot for both of us: the water, the sweat, Brian, me, all of it was hot. Before either of us knew it, we were both cumming loudly, and the water washed away the evidence of what had happened.
Heaven On Earth Ch. 08. A questioning of love.
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